Adult ADHD and Insecurity

Insecurity runs rampant very often with adult ADHD due to our feeling of being different. - Jeff Emmerson

Insecurity runs rampant very often with adult ADHD due to our feeling of being “different.” – Jeff Emmerson

By Jeff Emmerson

Adult ADHD and insecurity: linked so deeply! I have felt this all my life in ways, and it’s easy to explain why we feel this way (most of us, anyway).

When we’re young, whether we’ve been diagnosed or not, we screw up, we make mistakes like others, but we often “feel” different, like the world wasn’t made for us in a way, like school is absolute punishment, that things should be structured differently. I remember when I asked my college professor “Why is society the way it is, where we have to work most of our lives, missing loved ones and the invaluable quality time for family, dreams, and free time to contemplate life?” in 1999……and boy, did I mean it. I felt like rebelling against “the system,” before I came to my senses, realizing that I had to make my own path in this life, while paying the bills and keeping the powers that be happy.

Through trials and tribulations, mistakes and not quite thinking the same way the masses do, we develop a lack of confidence over time, which in turn leads to anxiety, depression, insecurity, all or some of these, anyway. It just makes sense. Whether your mind is on the hyper side, or more on the inattentive, distracted side, we all feel self-doubt and a deep sense of insecurity at times, which is like a vicious circle that can lead to negative, spontaneous behaviors to try and feel better about ourselves: one-night stands, spending money we truly can’t afford to spend, getting drunk 5 nights a week, using drugs, and in other ways. It’s a damn shame that we do these things, since we often have such amazing talents and passion for this life.

So how have I learned to overcome this monster called insecurity?

First of all, I don’t like the word “overcome” in this case – I much prefer the term “evolve.” You see, we will always feel insecure at moments – we will ALL have some level of self-esteem issues. That’s called being human, and it can be a good thing not to get too cocky and high on ourselves. I have, however, worked very hard on forging my own identity, and being proud of who I am as a human being, a man on a mission to help others in this life through my passions, a true win-win as I see it. I went back, spoke to counsellors, got my past resolved as much as I could in a healthy way, began to move on, and realized that as different as I might be in ways, I am a natural leader, a man who loves with all his heart, and a man who is deeply passionate for following his heart in this life, whatever it takes.

That has helped me a TON – to say to myself: “Why the hell would I want to be like everyone else? In fact, people need leaders with the guts to speak out about their challenges, their struggles, to show a true, honest human face with mental health challenges!”

It took time to truly begin to love myself, but holy crap is satisfying, unlike any “high” I can imagine. This is for REAL.

Adult ADHD Research: Keep An Open Mind!

Though it takes precious time, adult ADHD research has changed millions of lives, and will continue to bring breakthroughs! - Jeff Emmerson

Though it takes precious time, adult ADHD research has changed millions of lives, and will continue to bring breakthroughs! – Jeff Emmerson

By Jeff Emmerson

None of us know it all. That’s the beauty and the curse of all this mental health awareness. We’ve got everything to gain through continually investing in adult ADHD research and mental health research in general, but a ton to lose every single day in the meantime as people suffer from life-changing conditions that result in any number of tragic conclusions, which you can imagine in your head. If someone did know it all, at least we’d have these fragile brains figured out. Who knows. I prefer not to live in a fantasy world, so raising invaluable awareness throughout the online world is my way of giving back to the world after taking for a long time, though I had no other choice – I had to get my head straight, to follow my heart and figure out the formula for a truly successful, satisfying life. At least I’m here with this blog right now. I’m putting my determination and daily commitment (as well as my passion) toward opening eyes all over the globe, as I always say.

I’m doing my best, and researchers all over the world are doing amazing things research-wise! We don’t hear a lot about it, but behind the doors of universities, short and longer-term studies are going on as you read this. When a discovery is made, you’ll be sure to read about it here in The Adult ADHD Blog, and through my column at EverydayHealth.

While we wait for new breakthroughs, it’s really up to each of us to do all we can to learn about adult ADHD research, ways to minimize our symptoms, and medications that can be used if needed to help with the 10% of living with adult ADHD and any co-existing condition(s) a person might have. The other 90% really is the ways, the tools, and the tips for dealing with our minds, our behaviors. We’ve got to be as in control of ourselves as possible to live fuller lives with these conditions. No doubt about it. We can’t simply depend on a drug to do it for us! Take that from me.

At the hospital I work at, I witness patients going through their own personal battles with mental health, and it breaks my heart, but I do my best to be “the nice security guard,” empower them, and be a positive person in uniform as best I can. I get Moms, Dads and the patients themselves thanking me out of the blue for simply “being kind,” and wow, does that ever touch me deeply, as a guy who was once in a psych ward himself.

Why do I mention that? Because in the meantime, while the researchers are doing their job, we can all do our own part to help our fellow human beings get through another hour, another day by simply being kind. It won’t “fix” or save everyone, but we CAN and DO make a difference through being compassionate human beings who realize that mental health is NO ONE’S FAULT. Period.

As I continue on my mission, take the ride with me as I become a published author, explode this blog over time, and change lives through (you guessed it) simply being kind and sharing my battle for everyone to see. You see what we can do when we put our minds to it? It takes time, but that time will pass anywayREACH for your goals. You inspire others automatically that way, more than you realize! People are watching us when we don’t know it. They see how we speak, how we live, and how passionate we are. WE are the example.